When I am painting in the studio and certain other moments, I feel the radiance of life. My spirit when I am making art is as effervescent as a rainbow. Yet, to look at me, I am an American grandmother with an American weight problem. I'm not fat so much as, how should I put it - solid. In Saitama, I met a Japanese dancer who danced the qualities I no longer embody but feel inside my heart. I stood away from her and watched her delicate modest moves.